This is where I babble about random thoughts in my mind.
Can't assure you that I will keep this updated, really
depends on my mood.
Click on 'Blog' on the 2nd tab, right-hand corner of this box to read! :)
This is me. :)
BOUT ME
Name's Ai Ling.
God's child.
Malaysian and proud to be one!
Currently in Melbourne, Australia.
Bachelor of Commerce, University of Melbourne final year student.
Birthday's 27th September 1987.
Part of planetUNI - ULU26!
Really love just spending time with close friends and family.
Truly believes in her Saviour and is very thankful.
Always cheerful, joyous and loud, or at least tries to be.
Before I came to Melbourne more than 2 years ago, I knew there was a part of me which was lost, a part of me which was longing for something far beyond something which is indescribable. It was probably the reason why I went into relationships with foolishness, hurting others and hurting myself as well. I guess every one of us have done foolish things in our lives - especially when we were younger, or even now (cos I am still quite young what hehehe).
I was hurt so deeply by a relationship in the past which I couldn't let go even after more than 2 years have passed. But until I came to Melbourne, and when I found the 'thing' which I have been longing for, my life have never been the same again.
I have always been a happy-go-lucky person in the outside. I always seemed happy to everyone - to the point that my friends said they have never seen me angry before, or even sad, even though they have known me for like 5 years, or even more. I have always been hiding all my true feelings to the whole wide world, even my family members or best friends. Because I never wanted people to worry for me unnecessarily, or maybe I was just ego. I thought I could handle everything on my own (teenager mah then, a bit rebellious and used to think I was very matured haha).
But after I found true love, it has never been the same. I am not talking about true love with a boy (and yes, I do love my bf very dearly, never think otherwise), but I am talking about a love which is far beyond something which is indescribable, like said above. It is such an honour and privilege to be able to experience a love like this.
In this world, which is filled with pain and worries and anxieties, it is such a normal thing for a parent to say things which they regret after, for a child to blame him/herself after their parents decide to divorce, for a child to run from home, for a friend to betray, or for a guy to cheat on his girlfriend or the other way around.
But despite of all that crap, He promised us that He will never leave nor forsake us, no matter what the circumstance is.
Deuteronomy 31: 8 "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Obviously life will never be perfect and have zero pain or worries, or we will never learn or need God in the first place. He created us in a way where we are given a choice to love Him back or not. It is like a father who just wants a child to love him back, but it is not by force - it is by choice.
I know that I can always find a place of rest and a place to just pour my out at. And I am so thankful. I hope you understand my heart and just hear my heart.
Some of you may find my post boring and unrelated to you, or some may find it interesting and inspirational (hahaha I wish la), or just something to pass time. But I really hope that it touched your heart, somehow or another. :) Bless ya!
written ♥ at 12:49 pm;
2008-06-23
I feel so blessed.
Saturday lunch - Amanda cooked for me. Sunday lunch - my housemate tapau'ed Char Kuey Teow for me from Raffles Place. Sunday dinner - Ai Jet cooked for me. Tuesday dinner and Wednesday lunch - my bf is cooking for me.
Just realised how truly blessed I am. :) Appreciate it so much! Love u all :D
written ♥ at 3:14 am;
2008-06-18
I am so relieved that my two major papers have just ended!! I was so worried last night I couldn't even sleep the whole night. Worst part is, before going for my Auditing paper this morning, my stomach was feeling so uneasy and I was almost late for the paper. Throughout the first half of the paper my stomach kept having those weird 'attacks' or whatever you call it, causing me so much problems with concentrating on the paper. I even had to run to the toilet half way. Not just that, it's so difficult to read and understand cos I didn't have any sleep at all last night. Sigh...
The paper was actually ok, but since my internal marks is barely more than half, my results wouldn't be good either. Sigh. Hopefully I didn't do any careless mistakes. But I'm just so relieved it's over. And FA was bad... It's just so subjective, I got no idea if I have done well or done terribly. I really don't like such theoretical papers, where it all depends on crapping skills.
Just hoping I will continue to be hardworking and not slack just because my Accounting papers are over. It's now only my Marketing papers left to go! How well I do depends on the effort I put in. Help me Jesus!
On another note, my bf was so sweet to me last night. Despite the fact that he doesn't like studying in the library, he actually came all the way because I told him I wish he was there studying with me. He even waited till whatever time I wanted to study until (almost 2 am) then only walked me home. Even though he was so tired and sleepy after having to sit Microeconomics, he never complained at all. Instead, he said he gladly did it and even prayed for me! What an awesome bf I have :) Hehe thank you dear...
written ♥ at 1:16 pm;
2008-06-14
I know this is a bit late, but Happy Birthday TOBY - my only brother-in-law who is so cool because he is British and he speaks with the accent where every girl goes 'awwwww' or just faints. Hahhahaa. Which probably happened to my sister. Not just that - he speaks with perfect Cantonese intonations, because his parents are from Hong Kong, which is one of the things my sis looks for in a guy. (Don't ask me why she wants all of these. Haha.)
You are such a loving and cool brother in law man. You love to tease me, for some reason. Always telling my sis, "That must be Ai Ling," when you hear someone knocking herself on the table or chair or bed or whatever, and says "Ouch!" instantly. And it just makes my sis laugh. And she keeps telling me, "See. Toby is so observant. That's why we miss you when you are away. We never get to hear someone hurting herself." Hmph.
Such 'wonderful' siblings I have. But really. I love you guys to bits. It's because we have such a close bond that we can actually tease each other like this all the time. We will never lose that touch. And us planning a trip to Japan together really excites me!
And more plans coming just for us siblings - Europe and Australia. Hope they'll come true!!!!! *crossed fingers* I would trade for almost anything in this world to spend more time with my siblings. They are such a blessing to me. They are the coolest ppl to hang out with. They love me unconditionally. :)
P/S: If you two read this post, and feels touched or loved in any way, you can show me that you love me in return by adding an extra dress to my wardrobe (or even better if it's several) from your shop!! HAHAHA. :P
written ♥ at 4:01 am;
Being a Melbourne Uni student really isn't fun at all. Auditing is soooo difficult! It's just too much information everywhere and it's so hard to bring it all into one whole picture. Can't even recall what I studied...
Help me God! Helppp. I so need that extra brain juice and strength and concentration and understanding!!
By the way, I just realised that I always abandon my blog almost the whole year, then when it's near exams and during exams period, I'll actually blog a lot. I'll even change my blog skin. I don't even know why. Something to ponder on.... (And I think I am becoming influenced by Hao Ern. Wanting to think or ponder on the randomest and weirdest things. Which is scary... Oh noooo. Why am I becoming like you?? You should become like me! Since I have so many wonderful good traits which can be a good example to many... Hahahhaha.)
written ♥ at 3:48 am;
2008-06-09
To my one and only,
Just because I don't say I love you often, doesn't mean I don't love you. Now let me tell you. I LOVE YOU! :) Don't ever doubt that k? You know I've always been in love with the way you smile, your lame jokes and the way you tease me and just respect me for who I really am. And just the way you support me all the way and just backing me up each time assures me each time. :)
written ♥ at 2:34 am;
2008-06-08
Truly feel like a Beautiful Woman. :)
Spirit of God We cry out for You now We cry out Where would we be without You Jesus Where would we be without You Lord How so very true.. :)
written ♥ at 3:38 am;
2008-06-05
God is so evident in our lives, just that we tend to overlook it or just choose to take it for granted...
I don't want to live a day without You. :)
written ♥ at 4:44 pm;
For some reason I've been catching up with my cousins and friends who I seldom even talk to. And I just found out how interesting they could all be. Wonder why I've never taken the effort before this to know them better... I guess you tend to appreciate things and people more when you're actually away from them. Absence makes the heart grow fonder maybe? :)
Studying has been crazy. But not at all compared with some friends of mine. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND how they can study non-stop for like 12-15 hours in a day! Like seriously..... How do you actually get that kinda stamina? I've been studying consistently the past few days for 5-6 hours per day, and I have troubles waking up in the morning (more like afternoon, after 12pm everyday). I need to train myself up man.
Being in the final year isn't fun at all. Everyone's getting so serious....... Which leaves me with no choice, but to be serious for once also. Cos it's all about the Distribution Curve man. If the population in general doesn't do well, I am in okay condition. BUT if everyone's so hardworking and ends up doing well for finals, I am in trouble!
So here goes... See ya all soon (if anyone actually bothers reading my blog haha). God bless always! :)
written ♥ at 3:30 pm;
2008-06-01
Was just chatting with my youngest cousin sis, which is 15 years of age just now - and I found out that she just found herself a bf! My goodness..... I feel so old talking to her and giving her advice. It just feels like it's been ages ago since I was in her shoes, trying to hide from my mum and dad about that 'mysterious boy', going out on dates where I have to make up stories, calling the person and hoping my mum wouldn't be eavesdropping at our conversations.
Thinking about all this, just makes me feel, one word. OLD. But at the same time, I just feel like it's so so funny!! Can't believe I used to go through all those trouble and scoldings etc etc just for some boy..... HAHAHHA. Thank goodness I'm now FAR from needing to do all those.
Just so interesting how my life has developed... Being that young innocent girl who just wants boys' attention (not something I am proud of). BUT, I can proudly say I have totally gone through that phase and no longer need all this, because I have Jesus in my life! Hahhahaha :D